


So Who's Gonna Tell Her? (Carry On)

by undeadsupernova



Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Canon Rewrite, M/M, chapter 66 rewrite
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-26
Updated: 2019-10-26
Packaged: 2021-01-04 00:50:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 749
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21188804
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/undeadsupernova/pseuds/undeadsupernova
Summary: A rewrite of chapter 66 where Penny figures out that Baz/Simon were snogging literally five seconds before her and Agatha walked in.





	So Who's Gonna Tell Her? (Carry On)

**Author's Note:**

> This is a rewrite of Chapter 66 of "Carry On"

**AGATHA **

“Where’s the loo?” I ask. I stand up quietly and look over at Baz. He looks like he hasn’t even heard me. Nor does Simon, who is sitting in a chair across from the white board and staring at Baz’s back.

Baz says, “Down the hall, on the left.” I thank him softly. (He doesn’t respond.)

It takes a few left doors to go through before I find the right room. Comforting music fills the air and there’s an expensive Japanese toilet. I shut the door behind me and sigh.

Looking at myself in the mirror, I wonder why I even bothered to come with Penny.

** PENELOPE **

All right, fine. It was probably a mistake to bring Agatha after what I’ve observed in the past hour or so. I thought one good mystery could distract her but Nicks and Slick, I didn’t anticipate a second one. I should have remembered that Agatha doesn’t appreciate mysteries in the slightest.

As soon as Agatha exits the room, I turn towards the boys. “Okay, so who’s gonna tell her?” I ask.

Both Baz and Simon cock their heads over at me. “What? About Baz being a vampire?” Simon asks.

Baz sighs and begins to frown. “Shut up, Snow.”

I shake my head. “No, about how you two are clearly snogging.”

Simon goes red while Baz quirks one of his eyebrows at me as if he’s impressed that I figured this out.

As if it was hard.

**AGATHA **

I wonder to myself what has happened in the past few days to make Baz and Simon lose some of their hatred towards one another. But it’s a hard puzzle. I rarely understand what either boy is thinking on a normal day. (Let alone Christmas Eve.)

**PENELOPE **

Simon looks horrified. “How did you know?” he asks, not even trying to hide it.

Before I can respond, Baz says, “Bunce, I’m truly impressed. No wonder you’re always the smartest one in the room.”

I roll my eyes. “Simon, you’re an utter mess! Look at your sweater—don’t even get me started about how that is Baz’s. Baz, you never have a bad hair day and it looks like you tried to use hair gel but didn’t look in a mirror to fix it.”

“Well, he can’t really look—”

“_Simon_,” Baz says sharply, looking over at him. I don’t think I’ve ever heard that word come out of Baz’s mouth. (It’s nice to be right most of the time to people who aren’t difficult to read.) (Well, Agatha is. I need to get better at this.)

“You both know how Agatha feels towards the two of you. So who’s going to break it to her?” (Let alone explain to both Agatha and I how in the world Simon came to realize he was gay.) (Though I doubt Simon really knows.)

(He rarely knows anything.)

Baz shrugs. “I didn’t think that was my job.”

Simon rolls his eyes. “After all of your flirting? This is your fault.”

Baz only shrugs. I drop the subject. For now. Maybe it was best for Agatha to find out on her own terms, without my help.

** AGATHA  **

When I start back down the hall, I’m stopped by one of Baz’s maids.

“I think it’s so nice of you two girls to be beards for those boys.” (What does that even mean?)

I look at her before glancing back towards the other room. “Um, we’re all just really good friends,” I reply.

The maid lets out a _tsk_. “You don’t have to play coy with me, dear. I know how Basilton’s father would react if he found out about his...preference. I’m just glad he has friends like you to help keep it a secret.”

That’s when it hits me. Simon’s idealization, Baz’s cold demeanor towards me unless it’s around Simon…

Oh.

“Are you sure?” I ask her.

“I walked in on them kissing as you got here, love.” She laughs softly, patting my arm. (As if this is a normal occurrence.) “You’ll find someone someday, dear.”

“Excuse me,” I whisper. I storm back into the room to find everyone still completely normal. Baz is standing at the white board with his weight shifted onto one leg. Simon is questioning a theory Penny has thrown out. Baz looks over at Simon for a moment and I notice him watching Simon’s lips as he speaks.

I let out a gasp. “You’re gay?!”

**BAZ **

Merlin’s bloody beard, she finally put two and two together.


End file.
